O on: To The Lady In the Black Dress

You're beginning to feel flustered, a searing intense heat.
Your neck, your earlobe, the small of your back ... I'm the reason
Unseen eyes ravage you yet softly caressing like skin on silk.
You begin to look around as your layers begin to unravel.
From calm and collected your search becomes frantic.
I must say, You're a beauty to behold and even sexier when hot and bothered.
From the recesses of the deep Our eyes lock as I step out into the light,
Yours resist mine in defiant challenge very much to my delight.

.........

Your legs buckle as you comprehend the message I send.
For a second, our souls connect as time and distance meld.
My message is so simple that your resistance comes to an end.
I want to rip you in two and like a pile driver drill my way into you.
I want the very essence of your being, to give you pleasure on levels you've never seen
I want to ravage your core as you arc your back and the wall begins to crack
I want the moans that escape your lips to match the thrust of my hips.
As you glide to another extreme.

........

Welcome to my world,
A world filled with debauchery and forbidden pleasures
Sinful moments your body will crave and always treasure.
Sensual experiences that will forever linger...
As you bask in the after glow, you begin to ponder....
who am I?
Angel or Demon what am I??

My name is O,

I'm the man your mother warned you about.

CERBERUS ON: FELIZ NAVIDAD

‎​‎​‎​We wish u peace,love, health, * blah* blah* blah*......

F#!k dat shit.....

We wish U:

-Great sex,

-Alcohol,

-Mind boggling & toe curling orgasms

&
-Hope u win a f#!kin lottery...

:)♧♍€ƦƦ¥♧ƇĦƦΐŦ$♍Ə$♧:)

From
CERBERUS
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

Maldita Sea!!!

Gato and I finally broke it off...
6 years in an open relationship and now it's over.
I know it's for the best cos she deserves better than the eternal flirt with the short attention span.
But if it's for the best,
why am i feeling so gloomy

Maldita Sea!!!!

MY On:

EL TORRE  (The Tower)

She says “I don't know” or clicks her tongue,
She never knows what she wants or claims not to.
It makes me equate her to a tower
In the midst of so much but still alone
But...
Even towers have parapets and are guarded by people
The same way you have someone watching and guarding you.
©Mayii Mayowa Ogunnusi

Location    Tibidabo, Barcelona
Size (WxH)    09.8 x 16.6

MY On: Please Sit Down

PLEASE SIT DOWN

Please sit down,
I’m hidden from the street,
So do take a seat,
Rest your tired feet,
Relax and hear the birds tweet.

Please sit down,
Take a minute and look around.
The serenity and the calm
Natures all healing balm
Before the crowds of the world cause you to drown,
Take but a moment and please sit down.
©Mayii
Location:  Warsaw, Poland
Size: (WxH)    12.1" x 16 .2"

MY on: Tibidabo Sunrise & Sunset

TIBIDABO SUNRISE & SUNSET

Tibidabo is a mountain overlooking Barcelona, in the Spanish Region of Catalonia. At 512 meters it is the tallest mountain in the Serra de Collserola. Rising sharply to the north-west, it affords spectacular views over the city and the surrounding coastline.

In the Shillouette is the Torre de Collserola  a uniquely designed tower located on the Tibidabo hill. It was designed by architect Sir Norman Foster, and built in 1991 for the 1992 Summer Olympics. It features a pod for floor space like many towers but uses guy wires for lateral support like a mast. Mainly used as a TV and radio transmitter, this futuristic design provides the highest viewpoint over the city. The top antenna reaches 288.4m (946 ft) and the top of the pod, which has thirteen floors, reaches 152m (499 ft) with the tenth floor of the pod is open to the public.

Location    Tibidabo, Spain
Size (WxH)    17.0 x 11.5

MY On: Lose Yourself

LOSE YOURSELF

Lose yourself to me
I’m tranquillity in a concrete jungle,
I’m Serenity in the middle of chaos
I’ll bring you a long needed lease of life.
Just Lose Yourself To Me.
©Mayii
Location:    Gracia, Barcelona
Size": (WxH)    13.2 x 08.8

MY On: The Lonley Path

THE LONLEY PATH

She walks down the lonely path,
No one to wipe the tears in her heart,
No one to walk along with her,
And soothe the fears that plague her…

She looks at life through her broken heart,
Making everything grey and dark,
Alone, with her life changed forever,
Starting life anew on nothing, but a prayer….

Life is never ending, and so she walks on,
Hoping for a better tomorrow, she walks into the dawn.
Someday, maybe this path will not be lonely for her again,
But she'll never forget this lonely walk and this pain.
©Anamika of http:\\Yaadein.wordpress.com

Location    Fernes, Spain
Size (WxH)    17.0 x 13.9

MY On: Illuminating Soul

 ILLUMINATING SOUL

At the rim of sorrow
He found his heartless mind.
On the brink of despair
He found his soulless heart.

In the sea of destruction
He found his goalless soul.
Centuries dropped dead.

Now on the shore of Time
He finds his searching mind
He finds his crying heart
He finds his illumining soul.
© Sri Chinmoy 1975


Location    Lekki, Lagos
Size (WxH)    08.3 x 12.1

O on: Chi

MY last work titled unending journey evoked this out of me.
He is gracious enough to have it as part of his collection and I would love to share it with you.

Seep into my soul and grant me peace

Help me forget and cause my pain to cease

I'm here to become one with nature

I seek tranquility and for my soul nurture

I yearn for escape from the world around me

To you I come o mighty sea

For in you I find my CHI.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

MY On: The Derelict

THE DERELICT

Size:  17.0 x 09.5

I was the staunchest of our fleet
Till the sea rose beneath our feet
Unheralded, in hatred past all measure.
Into his pits he stamped my crew,
Buffeted, blinded, bound and threw,
Bidding me eyeless wait upon his pleasure.

Man made me,
And my will is to my maker still,
Whom now the currents con, the rollers steer --

Lifting forlorn to spy
Trailed smoke along the sky,
Falling afraid lest any keel come near!

Man made me,
And my will is to my maker still
To him and his, our peoples at their pier:
Lifting in hope to spy
Trailed smoke along the sky,
Falling afraid lest any keel come near!
© Rudiyard Kipling

UNENDING JOURNEY
Forever I will walk with you
No matter when, no matter where
Good times or bad, I will be there
Joy and happiness to accrue
©Bill Bard
Size: 18"x10"

MY On: Yaadein... Memories Of The Years Gone By

I'm going to upload every day an image that's gonna feature in my upcoming exhibition. Please look out for next week's art section in both ThisDay and the Nigerian Guardian. Your boy is being featured.
 

BLESSED ARE THE HARDWORKING       
They give their souls for the Lagos dream
Their reward is great contrary, as it may seem
Blessed are the hardworking I say
God watches over them in his own divine way.
© Mayii
Size 13.7" x 8.8"

O on: I'm wondering

...Who has Lami's number cos I wanna have dinner with her.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

MY On: Rules of Driving in Lagos 101

 SO Baroque did a post on road rage. a friend sent me the rules of engagement when it comes to driving in Lagos. And Maldita Sea do they apply.

1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram anything stoping you wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic warden,FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, lastma, lamata, laswa, even lawma sef)

3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (vere off traffic & settle 5hun), and if they don’t agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office except you wanna pay X10

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date)

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have NO brakes

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25yrs.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way”in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend ur whole saturday @ the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first)

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bona fide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!

26. HORNING IN LAGOS
- ‘Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous manoeuvre.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.
- ‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.
- ‘Horn’ when turning into a road.
- ‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.
- ‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.
- ‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re happy.
- ‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.




Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through Lagos and hustle and bustle!

M on: District 9... Epiphany

So I just finished watching District 9 and I must say, I'm rooting for this film to clinch a bucket full of awards. Neil Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell have succeeded in 100 minutes to create an avenue for soul searching.

Ignore the so called "slur against the Nigerian Nation" and look at the big picture that District 9 paints. Our prejudice against what is not like us. No matter where we are, refugees co exist among us. The Ghanians came and we said Ghana must go. So did the Liberians and see what we did to them. The "aliens" who came to us by no choice of theirs.

All beings created by the supreme one are the same even if they don't look like us. We all talk about Racism and Profiling. We speak against Xenophobia and all forms of prejudice but the thing is, the very core of the message district 9 sends, is that we are all guilty. In one way or the other we have failed our fellow man who by no choice of his own is forced to stay among us by doing something as easy as just turning the other way.

District 9 has opened my eyes to see what I never saw before all it takes is a split second for the wheels to turn and with that for those who still don't get the message of this my ramble,

Read Half of a Yellow Sun By and then watch District 9 again. Anyone of us could be Wikus Van de Merwe and what happens when we become the alien we persecuted........Selah

M 
of the Cerberus
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

MY On: The Project So Far

It started out as an exhibtion in celebretion of me being home for a year.  It has evolved into something much larger. here's a copy of the press release going out to media houses.....

Yaadein: Memories Of The Year Gone By is a celebration of photography, wine and cognacs from the 11th – 13th of December 2009 at the prestigious XO Winery & Stores located at 82 Raymond Njoku, in Ikoyi Lagos.  Yaadein will be the first photography exhibition to take place in a winery in Nigeria and this event will bring together individuals of fine taste and impeccable culture who will be hosted by Roger Chedid, A master wine and Cognac Connoisseur and his team.

To commemorate this Event, M.M.O Photography in collaboration with XO Winery has put together a collectors edition coffee table book. This publication will contain the exhibited images, Selected poetry as well as information on select exquisite wines and cognacs ranging from history, vintage, storage and serving temperatures, compatible meals and appetizers.

1500 copies of the photo book will be produced with 500 copies distributed at no cost to select hotels, restaurants, airport lounges, embassies and other upscale locations while 600 copies will be distributed for sale in time for the Christmas festive period via Silverbird Lifestyle, This day media stores, Farafina and Jazzhole. An additional 400 copies will be sold during the exhibition itself creating a location reach of 1000 locations.

MMO photography is the brainchild of Nigerian Born, Spanish Influenced photographer Mayii  .  While the book is a collectors edition keepsake, The exhibition is a must see and the pieces a must own for anyone with an eye for art.

Mas Besos

El Loco Hombre.

MY On: Lord Give me Strength

I sit down here in the dark listening to lounge music and sipping on some brandy.
I'm neck deep planning Yaadein. In case you don't know, that's my the theme title for the photo exhibition I had slated for early december this year.

I'm sitting in the dark listening to depressing Sade Adu and nursing my brandy simply because I need the Lord's strength to tread on. I'm currently looking to raise over 500,000 Naira from Ad sales spanning 4 full pages in the autographed catalogue.

I've been getting negative vibes about time frame, end of year, closed books and what not that alone can depress the s***t out of me but with friends like Freaksho and Pen & Paper encouraging me on as well as my blogville family, I know I can tread and trod on.

Blogville If you know any corporate or individual companies looking to place a full page Advert in my catalogue please let me know and do spread the word on my behalf.
I have just 4 pages ... Front Inner, Back inner and 2 inside pages.

Muchas Gracias.
MY
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

M on: Traffic Rant

It's been over an hour I've been in traffic.

Trapped and helpless, I feel claustrophobic.

My thoughts are constricted, and beginning to become spastic.

I equate this to my life's Journey
To my strive and search for life's honey.

Not with greed but simply out of need.

Most times my search seems futile.

My failed efforts enough to make others senile.

But I tread and trod on,
I'm God's son,
And for that reason alone,
The battle is won.

Aluta Continua, Victoria ascerta.

M

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

MY On: The Lady in the Black Dress haunts my thoughts

The Lady in the black dress and red pumps haunts my thoughts. Last time I saw her was at the party in my head….

“Dude pucker up and lets get kicking” my wingman Scribblemefree screams. It’s Thursday and there’s party that’s pundits like Bellanaija and the guys at Blogvillegist say is gonna be the best event on the Blogville calendar. I’m pumped up and good to go but we need to pick up Lowlah on the way and that drive isn’t something I’m looking forward to. Luckily, Freaksho is the designated driver tonight so I can still get into El Loco Hombre Mode.

Club Tweetville is packed and filled to the brim with beautiful people with Paparazzi and fashion police everywhere. VJ Seykuyinu is on the screens dropping some madass beats. There’s this dude trying to chat up Bumight and some chick taking photos on her BB and typing… That has to be Kpakpandostar. I see the Roc, Danny Bagucci, Dante, Chari with some hotties that look liked they popped out of the model section of vibe magazine up in the VIP and their table looks like it’s gonna fall under the load of Armand D’ it’s carrying.

Scribblemefree always the ladies man saunters off to join Funms d rebirth, LovePaprika, Jayla, Shona, Tigeress and Vera while Lowlah bounds off with Vic to chase some girls I’m sure. Freaksho is with the rest of the Two Tech Crew leaving me all alone. I guess it’s time for me to go grab my party starter… 3 straight shots of tequila and a small Heineken to chase it down.

As I head towards the bar, I spot her…. 5ft 7 black dress and red pumps sitting by the bar nursing a bottle of tequila, drawing on a cigarette and taking in the room. Maldita Sea!!! This gal is muy muy rubia. Tres sexy is an understatement for what I see in front of me and I now have a reason apart from a drink to her to that bar. The way she drew on her cigarette made me feel like inhaling the smoke coming from her lips would give me a rush even undiluted heroin will find it hard to compete with.

MY MY!!!, I turn as I hear my name, it’s Miss Natural, Rene, Smaragd and MsRayo. “Where have you been “ is their chorus and I begin to profusely make my excuses and be back on my way. The dude chatting up Bumight earlier joins us, turns out he’s Medianemesis and I use that opportunity to fade stopping to holler at Iamblogoratti.

Finally I get to the bar but she’s gone and as I try to get some information from the bar man, a chap next to me begins a Robbyscribbles for mayor tirade. “ I’m voting for Bubusn cos he’s Mr. #lightupnigeria so SHUT UP!!”. He leaves and I finally get to talk to the bartender. He said he didn’t know her name but from her accent she’s from Dxb. She comes around every weekend and manages to drink all the guys under the table and still be cool. Told me about this one time she drank with FBA and Doug and nobody ever heard from them again though the car was found hanging off a cliff.

“why not swing by tomorrow Mr MY I’m sure she’ll be here about 8 with Sirius.”

I head back to the party with a mind to come back here tomorrow but tonight, the lady in the black dress and red pumps haunts my thoughts


(* Like i said, it was at a party in my head. This post though imaginary, refers to someone real and she should know who she is... But the thing is you guess who. This should be interesting. )

Montones Besos
El Loco Hombre
MY

MY On: Again we apologise.

We owe the family a thousand apologies. Blaming it on twitter wont work 'cos I'm the only one on twitter and I've been absent there too. I've been so so busy planning an MY photo exhibition, trying to help O find the perfect business opportunity and M find a new Job. It aint easy being part of Cerberus but we try.

I've got an exhibition coming up mid November and selecting the pieces, getting them printed and publicity is driving me nuts especially because i want to exhibit just 8 pieces. What i can tell you now for certain is that the exhibition is going to be held at a Bodegas in Ikoyi in November but I'll keep the family posted.

On the other hand, if you wouldn't mind helping, pop along to www.mayii.shutterchance.com and choose 8 pieces you would pay 500$ for and email to me at mail2cerberus@gmrail.com.
muchas gracias in advance.

going on, my spanish has retarded to the point of practical inexistence supported once in a while by incoherrent babbling.. Okay it's not that bad but situation is critical.

Hope all is well it blogville. look out for my main post

With love
Your favourite Loco Hombre.
MY

My On: Otondo ... Primary Assignment

First I'll like to hype the hottest lounge in our city of blogville. it's called tweetville and if you haven't been, you are on a long thing my friend.

So i served my 14 day sentence in fox river (Lagos orientation camp. All other camps are Sona prison LWKMD!!) and my Parole officer assigned me to my primary assignment. see me thinking it was gonna be fun.

Check dis folks, the day i go to report i am mobbed by 7 women o
s
Yes you heard me, not 1, or 2,3,4,5,6,......7 yes 7.

I was posted ( note the use of the word "was" cos i reject my sharply) to a federal government monitoring group for communications. As I reach there apart from the security all the people I met till I got to the office were women.

When i got to the office to report if you see the way the director shouted. " Finally a man"
I was like ehn???
the monitoring office has 7 personnell 6 of them were women me the unlucky corper was to be the addition.
as my Ibo brethren will say MBA!!!

My welcome was so nice all of them hugging e con be like sey na competition for who can hug the longest.

My people i form married o with new born baby (my niece) one woman said" it doesn't matter"


hmmm..

If the women were fine sef, I for manage

If dem no be like hippopotamus, If for think am

But my people these were WOMEN scratch that MADAMS scratch that again BLEACHED OUT WOSKY TIGERS.

Sharp sharp, I ask for rejection before all these tigers eat me raw for my mama.

I can't shout.

Montones Besos,
MY....The number 1 otondo in Lagos

O on: Lady in Red *2

continued from here

She comes out of her world to order another glass only to be told the bottle is exhausted.

The moment of confusion is evident on her face...

I have an idea where her head is at....

Another vintage...

Another drink....

It's time to make my move.

"
Me:
Hi I don't mean to interrupt your solitude but the waiter explained a predicament they have ro me and it will be my pleasure to share what's left of my bottle with you.

She:
Thanks but..


Me :
Not a problem, my name is O and I'm having dinner across the room. I can see you're here for some alone time so I'll leave you to it.
"

I head back to my table to finish my dinner leaving the bottle with the waiter and wait for what I'm confident will come.

Wether she wants it to happen or not, thoughts of me will continue to break into her solitude.

My friends arrive and I'm not alone anymore. With our banter cutting accross the room, I catch her sneak looks at me every once in a while meeting each time with a smile.I know her interest is piqued.

I notice her have a discussion with the waiter who no doubt is doing his part

From the corner of my eye, I see her get up to leave...

I'm wondering if played my cards wrong when the maitre'd aproaches my table and slips me a note... "From the lady in red sir"

"Thanks for the wine,
I can see you're busy.
My number is ﹟
Call me...
L"

I smile because my weekend just took a new dimension....


O

O on: Lady in Red

I step into the bar like I always do and pause.....

I come here every weekend and the crowd is pretty much always the same but tonight it's not. She's sitting at the bar sipping on a glass of wine. Beautiful, young & nubile in a room filled with older people, She's sticking out like a sore thumb but I like the way she doesn't care. Totally engrossed in her drink and her thoughts, I observe her rebuff attempts from moths drawn to flame from across the room.

"I'm sorry Mr.O we just opened the last bottle" the waiter tells me as I order wine to go with my meal. Out of curiosity I enquire and I'm told it's the lady by the bar. My respect for her grows because not only is the vintage rare in this part of the world, only a connoisseur would pick it.

My play is decided and I lay out the instructions.

"
O: Give me a glass and hold the rest of the bottle for me

O: When she asks for a refill, tell her....

Waiter: Not a problem sir.

"

Now it's time to wait....

TBC
O

O on: mile high hookup

She's tall.. curvacious and for all i know she could be a Victoria Secret model...

She's right behind me on the queue at the check in counter and i fight the instinct to chat her up. I'm gonna take my time with this bombshell.

we've boarded and she's sitting in front of me...

work first so i wrap up my presentation and practice for a hour all the while mulling my approach.

The flight is quite scanty so she's alone on her row and so am I

She's reading a self help book and she's got work in front of her as well so i decide on my approach...

I tear a sheet of paper and write

"
Excuse my means but my intention is at the minimum to make you laugh this monday morning.

I would love to have a conversation, can i take the seat next to you...

Yes come over

No do not disturb me

Ps. you should be smiling by now.

"

I pass the note...

she passes it back...

Yes come over

2 hours of laughter and conversation,

I head off to my meeting with plans for dinner and drinks secured..

O

O on: It's Time to Retire

I’m standing outside the galleria with this bombshell after seeing hangover and phone beeps...

*I wanna see you, meet me at the galleria*

She’s what I’ll call a “dead” link so I’m thinking to myself it’s time to get out of here but miss pretty isn’t ready she’s trying to plan the rest of the evening so we’re standing there talking with friends for over 30 minutes.

You know it’s time to retire when more than 5 girls that are still “live” coincidentally cross your path in 30 minutes…

O

My On: Life in Fox RIVER

I’ve had people ask me how life was in fox river (that’s the NYSC orientation camp.) I know a few blogville citizens will be sentenced to serve 21 days so consider this an inside scoop

In that zone,
We have our Prison guards (the soldiers)
Our Sarah Tancredi’s who’ll give you a get out of jail card (exeat) (medical corpers)
The governor ( State Coordinator)
The warden (Camp Commandant)

In that Zone:

• You’ve got your prison cells you share with at least 24 other people

• The rule don’t drop the soap still very much applies except you have no fear of skin diseases of course.

• Doing the number one and two takes more will power than physical power.

• Though the Guards (soldiers) act like they are from hell they are actually quite nice.

• You HAVE TO wake up at o430 in the morning everyday

• Your liver faces an onslaught of alcohol abuse for 14-21 days

• All the guards have a price so if you can’t take it any more, dip your hands in your pockets and get someone to name a price

• It’s a mixed prison so you need to take serious advantage of the opportunity

• Even if you can, don’t let then know you can march cos if you do, your life will be so over. While everyone else is in the yard ( Mamy) you’ll be busy being the commandant’s bitch

• Getting it on is frowned upon and considering the lack of discrete locations in Fox River most resort to grimy means… why not serve out your 21-day sentence I always ask?

If you are gonna serve a 14 or 21 day sentence in fox river,you will need:
• Bedsheets

• A bucket

• A waist pouch

• Ditch the soap go shower gel

• Loads of white tees, shorts & socks

• Underwear too except you plan to wash

• Most Importantly, Loads of cash!!!!



MY

MY On: The life of an Otondo

The Life of an otondo Is complex yet so simple.
The phrase “you are wrong” the chorus of our daily song
If you are not on the parade ground you are wrong
If you are sleeping at 0500 you are wrong
If you are not wearing white on white you are wrong
If you are not drinking, cavorting or making friends you are wrong.
I lived that life for 14 days and will continue to do so for the next year.
I’m serving my country in the hopes that my country will serve me.

I have missed you guys soooo muchhh

MY

O on: Paying Tax

As a resident of the city of blogville I know that all the city demands from us is to pay our taxes in form of updates well mine have been well overdue now.

I’ll start by making apologies on behalf of the Cerberus for being absent for so long. We never thought that all 3 of us would ever leave the den at the same time but it happened and due to disconnected internet, faulty blackberries and one of us becoming an otondo, we’ve missed updating, commenting on our favorite blogs and generally being responsible citizens of blogville (now is it blogville or blogsville???)

Anyways the prodigal trio are back home with a slew of updates e’ve been holding for y’all neighbors.

Catch you around

O

M on: Chill And Relax AUGUST

**************************************************************************
THE EVENT
****************
Okay, you have been on the grind all week...
You've had your ass whupped and kicked...
All because you are a working man...
It's Sunday and tomorrow it starts all over again...
You need a BREAK!!!!
YOU NEED TO CHILL AND RELAX
You need to be treated to AN EVENING OF POETRY, SPOKEN WORD, COMEDY & GOOD MOOD MUSIC before you run-off to restart the cycle which is your week.

****************************************************************************
THE VENUE:
*****************
Bambuddha Restaurant & Lounge aims to set a new standard in fine dining as befits the setting. The fresh modern and stylish design combined with a rich ambiance that envelopes guests upon entering.

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THE MENU:
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The menu has been created by Executive Head Chef, Mr Paul Fitchet balancing exquisite presentation of “Mediterranean” cuisine with South American influences, with reasonable prices. He has created a truly delicious menu, which accompanied by a unique wine list and well conceived cocktails can be savored in our glamorously designed space.

Your Ticket gives you access to an offering of:
*Satay Peri Peri Chicken Wings
*Assorted springrolls
*Teriyaki Pork Ribs
* Jacket in Prawns

and the options of:
*Soft drinks
*Chilled Juices
*House white
*House red

THE FULL BAMBUDDHA MENU IS AVAILABLE ON REQUEST.

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TICKETS AND RESERVATIONS:
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To maintain the ambiance and aesthetics, Chill and relax has limited reservations.

To make your reservations, call 07029344882 or send your e-mail to chilletrelax@gmail.com with the subject : Chill and Relax Booking.

M on: It looks Bad but it's the best thing that happened to you

This is a cut and paste that inspired me © Phil Evans
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The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"

To which the king replied - "No, this is not good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.

As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.

"You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened." And so, I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."

"No," his friend replied, "This is good!"

"What do you mean, 'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"

"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you, and not here with you right now."

In a very unusual way, the message here unfolds into exposing the following principle about life.

"Absolutely everything happens for a purpose; and out of what seems like adversity at the time; always comes good".

I'm sure that if any of us care to reflect back on the tragedy's, the heartaches, the 'bad times' in our lives, that we discover that we have really grown or developed during that period of time:even though the reflection may still cause us discomfort in some way.

It is in this way that we slowly gather experience and wisdom, and even though we may think or feel that it is unfair, that's the way it is.

"This is good". Many of our life's experiences have saved us from some form of cannibals; it's just that we often don't know that they have at the time.

So, for a simple example to help with awareness: next time you may begin to feel you are being 'wronged' by being stuck in a traffic jam, think about the cannibals that could be lurking down the road a bit,but will be gone by the time you get there.

Now that's a bit different, but worth trying: "this is good" - despite the circumstances.

Remember: "What others do or say is their stuff; how we react, or not, is our stuff"!
And: "True Happiness in life isn't having what you want, but wanting what you have"!

MY on: Lyrical Seduction

My satin soul,

I keep asking myself what am i gonna do with you? wondering Is this the way love feels? I find myself day dreaming about wanting you to do it to me one more time. Our nite shift yesterday left me thinking mercy mercy me. I am now in the zone to understand Billy Paul's me and Mrs Jones. I'm going to stop fighting this and struggle no more, I'm just going to accept this love TKO. Sugarplum, I've got so much to give you and the sweet thing I'm feeling is so bad that I wonder if you know like I know that i am crazy about you.



I know neither one of us expected things would develop so fast. I mean, how do we go from being Just friends to being caught up in the rapture of love? My inner being yells don't be a fool at me just float on the wings of love. Boo You see the trouble with me is I've never experienced sweet love. Now I just want to be close to you because your sweetness is my weakness.


Somebody once told me "dude practice what you preach" so from now on, that's what I'm gonna do. On two occasions You said "If you want it you've got it forever" well, I want it and I'm gonna love you forever. who knows... perhaps you're God's angel sent to set me free. To me you're the sun.. you're the rain and I'm never never gonna give you up . In case you saw my missed call this morning, I just called to say I'm in this for the long haul so don't you forget it.



Baby girl let's get it on tonight. As soon as i get home. I wanna play the kissing game cos you know I love playing your game baby. Let the music play right before I turn off the lights and light a candle. Girl you know that I'm qualified to satisfy you so close the door and take me in your arms while I call your name whispering I'll take you there as I nibble on your ears till you slowly erupt screaming don't stop as we head into the love zone.


Don't cross over yet hermosa, stay with me. I'm gonna slow things down a tad so easy easy, got to take it easy. I still have a lil sumthin sumthin in store for us cos Tonight intend to make sure you keep coming back for more. The time for pillow talk will come much later right now I just want you to do it to me one more time while we feel the fire. When we lie down all spent having that talk, I'm just gonna ask one thing is it still good to ya? cos for me it's Ecstasy when you lay down next to me.

O

Ps. The italicized words a titles to tracks from soul's legends.

M on: letting go or Holding on

WARNING:
This post may or may not make sense to you. It's just a jumble of thoughts in my head that have produced utter confusion
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Read this article but here's the synopisis:

The couple wed after losing each other for 16 years.

They fell in love when Spaniard Carmen was a foreign student staying in Torbay where Steve lives.

They became engaged but Carmen returned to France - and they drifted apart.

Mr Smith originally wrote to Ms Ruiz-Perez's flat in Paris but she had moved and his letter went unanswered.

Still determined to trace his lost love, he wrote her another letter and sent it via her mother's villa in Spain

The letter was put on the mantelpiece and forgotten about before it slipped down the back of the fireplace.

The letter was found 10 years later during renovation work.

she called him on his old cell phone that he didn't change

2 days after meeting up, 17 years after they first met at age 42 they married.

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I guess this does give credence to the saying "if you love something, let it go. If it's yours it'll find it's way back to you" But as i was reading this, Teddy P was busy strumming my ears with Love TKO which does create a bit of a contradiction.

leading me to the question,

when do you let go and accept "another love TKO?"

I know someone who still harbors the hope that a girl from his past will one day come back into his life. Years down the line he's still offering "contract employment" Just in case she does want the full time position.

MY OPINION: He's headed down the loneliness autobahn.

but then i read this news article again and wonder to myself...... 17 years!!!!!

It leaves me speechless and my court of personal opinion severely constricted....

* I think I'm gonna go have a conversation with MY*




M

o on: The Matrix

Chill and relax was in T- 60 minutes and I was down the road. Thing is I had sent my car to go pick up the Sage ( Yes blogville The Sage performed at chill and relax) so I had decided to walk.



But.....


It had rained all day and V.I. is a flood trap reminiscent to the story of Noah when it rains so I was trapped on Oyin Jolaiyemi. Talk about seeing the promised land but not getting there......



So there I am....

Standing in front of TFC trying to hail a taxi looking slight dapper. Much too dapper for a Sunday evening at TFC and she parks her car.

She runs in to get her TFC fix but i notice her give me a look down.

Damn she's hot, I tell myself.


I need to get to Bambuddha ASAP 'cos the Polygot is on her way.
(Yup we had Utibe the polyogot who writes poetry in 5 international languages performing too)


So I let her be.


She comes out.


I'm still there.


No taxi...


Gets in her car....


Looks at me again....


Starts her car...


Looks again...


Starts to reverse....


This time she keeps eye contact....


**
This is when i should have walked to the car and asked for a ride to the junction 'cos i know i was gonna get one...


I know i could have possibly gotten a name and number....


Possibly invited her to chill and relax....


Gotten to know her over candle light, poetry, spoken word, jazz and prose....


Then.....

Gotten me a date for the next day.


Then.....


Maybe I might have shared the story of matrix with you.



But NOOOOOOOOOO



This modjo that has gone AWOL was still AWOL



So.....



She stared.....



And I stared back....


She gazed intensely.....



And I gazed right back....



She willed me to come forward.....



But i stayed behind.....


Even when she paused for over 2minutes on the road....


I stayed behind....


Till she drove away.....


Leaving me there.....


Alone......


Still wondering how I would get to Bambuddha.....


That was when i knew.



That....



Blogville, we have a problem.


WHERE THE HELL IS MY MODJO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


O

O on: help me find it

It's official, I have lost my modjo.

I should have known when i had no new material for weeks to share with my wonderful cyber-familia.

The bells should have started ringing when i would leave sms's from "friends" unreplied.

But nooooo, it had to take 2 incidents in a space of 5 days to wake me up to the fact that.

Yuppp I've lost the art, will, skill and ability to cross the finish line..


And that sucks big time.



Could it be because i haven't met anyone interesting enough to hold my attention?



NO!!



Or perhaps i was emasculated in my sleep.


I sincerely hope not.

Two back to back incidents were all it takes to show me i have a problem. The Slytherin and the Matrix.



THE SLYTHERIN :
This past week i decided to take a long weekend off so i skipped town on thursday to visit a city that used to be one of my old haunts. i went loaded for bear as i always do whenever i'm going on long weekends.

Lube................ Check
12 pack........... Check
Bullet.............. Check
Velcro ropes.... Check

See, i was loaded for bear

So i get to the side and head off straight to the hotel before calling up my old posse. Your boy is in town gather up the commission.
3 hours later and a few bottles of vino down the hatch to support some mama Ebo pepper rice, my man jokes gives me a heads up during our catch up.

"
J: guess what?
O: tell me
J: Slytherin lives here now
O: for real, do you have her number?
J: yeah it's 070-slytherin
"
Back in the day the slytherin was queen. MY would say muy bastante caliente with a mean bone in her body. The slytherin was a seductress and she took the term use and abuse to the next level. She had become a doctor and now practiced in the side. Apparently she still hadn't changed except become a lot hotter so of course yours truly jumped straight in. The slytherin was gonna be my bear.

I gave her a call and we hooked up. and for 2 day, we played a no holds barred mental chess game to see who would succumb. The night before i was to leave after dinner and a coupla bottles of vino and some added inspiration, she threw it wide open.

"
S: Let's ditch these guys and head up to my place i've got a plan that will make the night a lot more interesting
"

That was it!!!!

That was all i needed to go for checkmate.

Right now i would have been dishing out some really graphic details of a night well spent.

But no, no, no my modjo just had to be AWOL and the next thing i know, i find myself in Jokes' car telling him to drive away and take me back to my hotel.

I just didn't "feel" like it any more.


To borrow an expression from MY,


MALDITA SEA!!!!

On the plane on my way back I consoled myself with....

" maybe now you only like the chase and not the kill"

And I actually believed that.

Then I met Matrix the next day and this time it was worse.



Post is getting too Long so i'll tell you about The Matrix some other time..


O

O on: why i fired my secretary

Fellow Men! you better be careful when you allow your imagination to run wild. If it's not with your wife, you could get into a lot of trouble like this guy.



Why I Fired My Secretary

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!",
possibly have a small present for me
As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember....

My kids came bounding down the stairs
They didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss... and by the Birthday way Happy Day"
Her smile was electrifying,
In her red "HOT" figure-fitted out fit.
My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets,
I felt like I was even getting more than I bargained for.

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock,
Then Jane knocked on my door
She said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.

" I said,
Thanks, Jane,
That's the greatest thing I've heard all day
Let's go!"

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go where we normally would go.
Instead she chose a quiet bistro
With a private table.

I'm sure she must have nabbed me staring at her cleavage
Cos she kept giving me a shy kind of smile
each time our eyes met.


We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said,
"You know, it's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do we?"
I responded, "I guess not.
What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's drop by my apartment;
it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane winked at me
and said in a soft tone
"Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back."

"Ok,"
I nervously replied.
At this juncture it felt like I was going to explode.
What was she up to?
Better still, what was expected of me?
Should I... or shouldn't I...?
Thoughts kept hovering in my head.
Then a thought rang in my head
"I had to be PROACTIVE".


She went into the bedroom,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
Followed by my wife,
my kids,
dozens of my friends
and co-workers
all singing....

"Happy Birthday".


And I just sat there...


On the couch...



Naked!

MY on: Daddy VS baby.. The fight for kisses

It's funny Tuesday here at the den and what i've got for you is some really funny ish. So what happens when your baby has a baby well. You start to feel the end results of an ADD yyup the attention anymore You've got to fight the baby for your kisses.

Ps. Gracias mi socio y hermano for the shout out on your blog.

disfrute mi gente
El loco Hombre.

MY on: Photo Mondays... Suga mammys..

PHOTO MONDAYS

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Was going through one of the crappier softsell magazines that seem to be flooding the streets of Lagos when I peeped the Lovers Rendezvous section and Maldita Sea there seems to be a serious need for sugar mammas by the boys of Lagos. What I find intriguing is that 30-year-old guys consider 33-year-old women or even their age mates sugar mammas. This world we live in…

I’ve got nothing against dating older women but to me, this is just wrong. Some of the ads are funny though.

• Take this guy using some marketing experience with his ad

A RICH AND CARING SUGAR MUMMY WANTED
My name is Kole W; I am dark, tall, sexy and energetic, Based in lagos. I need a rich and caring sugar mummy between 40 and 45 years who appreciates the dynamic strength of a young man like me. Call 07061241666

• Now this guy cracks me up. He wants a God fearing mammy

A GOD FEARING SUGAR MUMMY NEEDED
My name is Ola, I’m 30 years from lagos state. I need a God fearing sugar mummy between the ages of 33 and 50 years. Call 07040519830

• This guy sounds like he’s got a money back guarantee

A BEAUTIFUL & WEALTHY SUGAR MUMMY NEEDED FOR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP
My name is Jim, 28 years old. 5.8ft tall, cute, sexy and well endowed. I need a beautiful and wealthy sugar mummy between 28 and 45 years for a romantic relationship with certain sexual satisfaction. Cal 08032898839.

• This guy went straight to the point ... he's in it to cash out LOL

A ROMANTIC AND ABLE SUGAR MUMMY NEEDED
My name is SHOLA, an undergraduate looking for a sexy and romantic sugar mummy that can assist and support my studies and then my career. Call 08027757884 07025599707

• This guy was the killer. Me thinks this guy is totally disillusioned and completely loco

A SUGAR MUMMY NEEDED FOR A RELATIONSHIP
My name is Olaitan. I need a sugar mummy who desires true love for a serious relationship. Call 08063440279



Like seriously WTF!!! I think it's disgusting and even O who dates the older woman from time to time Said " They are a lazy embarassment and should be emasculated"

what's your take?

Ceberus on: Eulogy.. Photo MOndays

PHOTO MONDAYS IS A NEW SPOT ON THE BLOG FEATURING PHOTOGRAHY. IT WILL BE MOSTLY MY WORK OR IMAGES I FIND ONLINE WHICH I FIND HILARIOUS.

Childhood Innocence
Taken at the Eastbourne train station.

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In one of my famous El loco hombre moments, My camera and i became permanently separated.I wrote an Eulogy i found most befitting.

My all seeing eye,
You left behind images of truth,
To me and others you brought smiles,
I can only hope your time with me was well spent.
Though you will be replaced,
You shall not be forgotten
Your work will live forever.
Signed
El Loco Hombre
For the family

M on: Intelligent... Fast.... Graceful and dont forget powerful.

O on: Fara bale

This morning my thoughts hovered on a lot of things, My hopes, my fears, and finally dwelling on my dreams. Usually that's the first step for me before a bout of self disappointment for the simple reason that things aren't going exactly to plan.

I looked up and I think I got a message from the supreme being. in the past few weeks, i have been on a path to self discovery. Trying to connect with people i haved rubbed raw, Going to church, basically discovering God. The message was clear and simple. FARA BALE. It was the graffiti written on a truck in front of my car and that just brought me calm.

We all have hopes and dreams and sometimes things dont go the way we want them to. I just want to say FARA BALE because what must be will always be and things will surely fall into place.


SELAH..


**PS FARA BALE comes from Yoruba and translating it litterally it means calm down.

MY on: Yaadein... THE END OF THE STORY

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As the month of Osmanthus approached we settled into a rhythm, i was finally happy in a relationship. It was glaring for the world to see and everyone around me commented on the fact that i was glowing. Mariposa met members of my family and they all fell for her just like i did it was all so perfect but as with all good things life gives, karma (the bitch) must have her say.

Another woman was in my life. and before you crucify me, her being there was decided for me long before i had the ability to make that call and before Mariposa came into my life, I had no objections. But seeing and feeling what true happiness was, i knew that i could never be with Gato (lets call her that). I had told Mariposa about Gato long before we got to where we were and she knew i was trying to break off the engagement.

In the month of Osmanthus, Gato came home in a bid to show me the error of my ways and correct what she believed was a mistake i was making. Looking back, Osmanthus was a month of incidents some near fatal. Mariposa discovered she had a condition that needed serious medical attention and I began living la vida loco as i began to drink more from the battle i found myself in. Gato tried using any means possible to get me to change my mind. From pleading to her parents trying to leverage our joint investments as clout against mine, to my parents and finally when all failed, trying to get to Mariposa to scare her away ( why do women act like that????). Through this, Mariposa stood firm and it was in this period she said those 3 words and more to me.

Osmanthus blended into chrysanthemum and it was time for me to go back home. I left for home knowing that i would be back to the mother country soonest for in the months that had passed i had begun a new life. A life that had everything i could ever wish for. The week before i left, I saw nothing of Mariposa. As i got on the plane i had a feeling, ominous and distinct telling me that something was terribly wrong between my Mariposa and I. It was a feeling i brushed off little did i know.

Home filled me with the warmth that makes it home and i began the process of putting my affairs in order. The first flag should have been the fact that i began to do most of the reaching out unlike before i visited the mother country and when we did speak, it was the issues we spoke on. Marriage was key for her but not for me and i think my obstinate insistence on my position on the subject is what broke the camels back.

I have now come to understand the Nigerian woman's perspective but before then, I was of the opinion marriage is the most unimportant factor in a long term relationship to me it didn't matter if it was legal and dotted lines were signed. Through Mariposa i have come to learn that it is not so and i have come to respect that so i guess you can say lesson learned though the hard way.

I came back home filled with hope of a new life and a new beginning. I came home with the expectations of a man coming back after a long trip to meet his beloved......I met with disappointment.An sms with just 2 words; "welcome back" was all i got. Baffled, for days I waited till I grew tired of waiting so i reached out. She came over and spent roughly an hour before asking that i drop her at home. As i left her at hers, I needed no seer to tell me we were over.

Months have gone by and as I reminisce and think about it, what Mariposa and I shared wasn’t something out of a movie. It was a dream come true. Fact is; nobody knows tomorrow, we can’t even say for sure about the end of the day all we know about is now and right now, I would do it all over and over again with Mariposa and that my friends is what makes her my Kryptonite.


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Kryptonite and I are still in contact though i tend to keep it minimal because of the effect she still has on me. Smaragd, I hope you come out to read this because you're one of the major motivators of me finally letting this out.
mi familia de blogsville let me have your thoughts, Raw and uncut.