The content of this blog is not the figment of imagination but the recollection in word or prose of events as they occur to three powerful minds.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent and spare the guilty of vilification.


El contenido de este blog no es el producto de la imaginacion, pero el recuerdo de palabra o de la prosa de los acontecimientos a medida que se producen a tres mentes poderosas.

Nombres han sido cambiados para proteger a los inocentes y los culpables de repuesto en caso de difamacion.


Friday, September 11, 2009

My On: Otondo ... Primary Assignment

First I'll like to hype the hottest lounge in our city of blogville. it's called tweetville and if you haven't been, you are on a long thing my friend.

So i served my 14 day sentence in fox river (Lagos orientation camp. All other camps are Sona prison LWKMD!!) and my Parole officer assigned me to my primary assignment. see me thinking it was gonna be fun.

Check dis folks, the day i go to report i am mobbed by 7 women o
Yes you heard me, not 1, or 2,3,4,5,6,......7 yes 7.

I was posted ( note the use of the word "was" cos i reject my sharply) to a federal government monitoring group for communications. As I reach there apart from the security all the people I met till I got to the office were women.

When i got to the office to report if you see the way the director shouted. " Finally a man"
I was like ehn???
the monitoring office has 7 personnell 6 of them were women me the unlucky corper was to be the addition.
as my Ibo brethren will say MBA!!!

My welcome was so nice all of them hugging e con be like sey na competition for who can hug the longest.

My people i form married o with new born baby (my niece) one woman said" it doesn't matter"


If the women were fine sef, I for manage

If dem no be like hippopotamus, If for think am

But my people these were WOMEN scratch that MADAMS scratch that again BLEACHED OUT WOSKY TIGERS.

Sharp sharp, I ask for rejection before all these tigers eat me raw for my mama.

I can't shout.

Montones Besos,
MY....The number 1 otondo in Lagos

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

O on: Lady in Red *2

continued from here

She comes out of her world to order another glass only to be told the bottle is exhausted.

The moment of confusion is evident on her face...

I have an idea where her head is at....

Another vintage...

Another drink....

It's time to make my move.

Hi I don't mean to interrupt your solitude but the waiter explained a predicament they have ro me and it will be my pleasure to share what's left of my bottle with you.


Thanks but..

Me :
Not a problem, my name is O and I'm having dinner across the room. I can see you're here for some alone time so I'll leave you to it.

I head back to my table to finish my dinner leaving the bottle with the waiter and wait for what I'm confident will come.

Wether she wants it to happen or not, thoughts of me will continue to break into her solitude.

My friends arrive and I'm not alone anymore. With our banter cutting accross the room, I catch her sneak looks at me every once in a while meeting each time with a smile.I know her interest is piqued.

I notice her have a discussion with the waiter who no doubt is doing his part

From the corner of my eye, I see her get up to leave...

I'm wondering if played my cards wrong when the maitre'd aproaches my table and slips me a note... "From the lady in red sir"

"Thanks for the wine,
I can see you're busy.
My number is ﹟
Call me...


I smile because my weekend just took a new dimension....


Monday, September 7, 2009

O on: Lady in Red

I step into the bar like I always do and pause.....

I come here every weekend and the crowd is pretty much always the same but tonight it's not. She's sitting at the bar sipping on a glass of wine. Beautiful, young & nubile in a room filled with older people, She's sticking out like a sore thumb but I like the way she doesn't care. Totally engrossed in her drink and her thoughts, I observe her rebuff attempts from moths drawn to flame from across the room.

"I'm sorry Mr.O we just opened the last bottle" the waiter tells me as I order wine to go with my meal. Out of curiosity I enquire and I'm told it's the lady by the bar. My respect for her grows because not only is the vintage rare in this part of the world, only a connoisseur would pick it.

My play is decided and I lay out the instructions.

O: Give me a glass and hold the rest of the bottle for me

O: When she asks for a refill, tell her....

: Not a problem sir.


Now it's time to wait....


Friday, September 4, 2009

O on: mile high hookup

She's tall.. curvacious and for all i know she could be a Victoria Secret model...

She's right behind me on the queue at the check in counter and i fight the instinct to chat her up. I'm gonna take my time with this bombshell.

we've boarded and she's sitting in front of me...

work first so i wrap up my presentation and practice for a hour all the while mulling my approach.

The flight is quite scanty so she's alone on her row and so am I

She's reading a self help book and she's got work in front of her as well so i decide on my approach...

I tear a sheet of paper and write

Excuse my means but my intention is at the minimum to make you laugh this monday morning.

I would love to have a conversation, can i take the seat next to you...

Yes come over

No do not disturb me

Ps. you should be smiling by now.


I pass the note...

she passes it back...

Yes come over

2 hours of laughter and conversation,

I head off to my meeting with plans for dinner and drinks secured..


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

O on: It's Time to Retire

I’m standing outside the galleria with this bombshell after seeing hangover and phone beeps...

*I wanna see you, meet me at the galleria*

She’s what I’ll call a “dead” link so I’m thinking to myself it’s time to get out of here but miss pretty isn’t ready she’s trying to plan the rest of the evening so we’re standing there talking with friends for over 30 minutes.

You know it’s time to retire when more than 5 girls that are still “live” coincidentally cross your path in 30 minutes…


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

My On: Life in Fox RIVER

I’ve had people ask me how life was in fox river (that’s the NYSC orientation camp.) I know a few blogville citizens will be sentenced to serve 21 days so consider this an inside scoop

In that zone,
We have our Prison guards (the soldiers)
Our Sarah Tancredi’s who’ll give you a get out of jail card (exeat) (medical corpers)
The governor ( State Coordinator)
The warden (Camp Commandant)

In that Zone:

• You’ve got your prison cells you share with at least 24 other people

• The rule don’t drop the soap still very much applies except you have no fear of skin diseases of course.

• Doing the number one and two takes more will power than physical power.

• Though the Guards (soldiers) act like they are from hell they are actually quite nice.

• You HAVE TO wake up at o430 in the morning everyday

• Your liver faces an onslaught of alcohol abuse for 14-21 days

• All the guards have a price so if you can’t take it any more, dip your hands in your pockets and get someone to name a price

• It’s a mixed prison so you need to take serious advantage of the opportunity

• Even if you can, don’t let then know you can march cos if you do, your life will be so over. While everyone else is in the yard ( Mamy) you’ll be busy being the commandant’s bitch

• Getting it on is frowned upon and considering the lack of discrete locations in Fox River most resort to grimy means… why not serve out your 21-day sentence I always ask?

If you are gonna serve a 14 or 21 day sentence in fox river,you will need:
• Bedsheets

• A bucket

• A waist pouch

• Ditch the soap go shower gel

• Loads of white tees, shorts & socks

• Underwear too except you plan to wash

• Most Importantly, Loads of cash!!!!