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An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is. "I'm 90 years old," he says. "90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?" "Oh, sorry," says the old man, "how much do I owe you?"
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We're in my car staring into the night after a tryst in my back seat then she drops the atomic bomb on me; " I want you to date my niece, as my birthday present....."
Lets rewind shall we
We had been dating for 4 months. Met at my brothers wedding, she the venue owner me the grooms charming brother. Dressed to kill and life of the party, i didn't know i had an observer so a "thank you for helping us make this event successful" speech ended with "let's stay in touch what's your blackberry PIN". Now she's hot and in her early 30's, a category A++ M.I.L.F. She seemed quiet, a bit reserved didn't think anything to her smile seemingly innocent as she handed over her BB so i could do the honors.
Her First Msg; " You looked extremely cute, was watching you from the kitchen"
My Reply; "Sorry i didn't get to watch you. will i get a chance to?"
The flirting began, one bbms and another and another till it was constant chat. She being free all the time had me thinking "she's gotta be single". Ask no questions get told no lies so i didn't enquire to be certain. The msgs were flowing back and forth just harmless flirting or so i thought. A bit of cat and mouse, Me the cat, she the mouse (little did i know).
She likes reading 'cos she's bored and lonely at night so i send her 4 books with a dozen roses to go with each book. Sundays are lonely so i offer the option of a play "I can't you're too young"; her excuse, "lets see the same play but not together"; her solution. Same play neighboring seats, call that first meet.
Now the heat is on, let's step this up. "We can't be seen together"; a point she raised, "I can get us a private lounge in a bar"; my solution. A few cocktails and wine glasses later we're making out like rabbits. Now the heat is really on.... In my head i'm still the cat, she the mouse.
The messages get steamier, the phone calls even worse. She's calling every night with phone sex the only thing on her mind M.I.L.F. and Freak what a wonderful combination, "Tell me what you want to do to me"; her favorite expression.
Time to heat it up some more. "Let's take this off the phone"; I propose, "Can you handle it? Na old firewood dey burn pass "; her retort.
TBC....
O
Hmmmm hnnnm*
ReplyDeletelol @ 'the heat is really on'.....fire is all i can think of!
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I hope you don't do a Roc and leave the story halfway????
ReplyDeleteLol @ Joke.. Heard it a while back..
ReplyDeleteStill leaves me in stitches..
first time here..
ReplyDeletenice writing guys.....abeg finish d stori oo...
Fire, are you guys not feeling it(heat)?? lol
ReplyDeletena old firewood dey burn pass...i like...nice one bruv
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing joke's on you?
ReplyDeleteI'm hooked on you. Seriously considering cheating on Qube *looks around guiltily*
ReplyDelete@ Miss Lowlah: The den is big enough for us both *sniffing for Qube*
ReplyDelete@ Blogoratti: You and fire...
@ Danny B: no Roc stunting here
@ smf: Glad you like el socio
@ Qube: The story will be finished.
Bumight: wait till the end pretty miss.
ReplyDeletelmaoooooooooooooo @ the joke! damn..
ReplyDelete"Can you handle it? Na old firewood dey burn pass " - wow..lol..
she wants u to date her niece as her birthday pressie..ouch..
*eagerly waitng for part 2*
*waiting
ReplyDeleteWTF! u done gone and joined the "guys who make girls hot and leave 'em to cool" association on blogsville eh?
ReplyDeletelol @ 080-CALL-SMARAGD.
ReplyDeleteif only u made that 11 digits, u woulda been close...lol
whatsup with SMf getting the spanish lessons? that's my spot!
Buttercup: Señora de chari such is my predicament but do follow the story.
ReplyDeleteS: scribbles mi socio hablas español.
I left u to fill in the blank spot with a 3,5,7,8 or 9