DISCLAIMER******* RENUNCIA

The content of this blog is not the figment of imagination but the recollection in word or prose of events as they occur to three powerful minds.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent and spare the guilty of vilification.


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El contenido de este blog no es el producto de la imaginacion, pero el recuerdo de palabra o de la prosa de los acontecimientos a medida que se producen a tres mentes poderosas.

Nombres han sido cambiados para proteger a los inocentes y los culpables de repuesto en caso de difamacion.

CERBERUS


Friday, June 19, 2009

My on: And then the fight started

I PLANNED TO DO A POST ON KRYPTONITE BUT JUST THINKING ABOUT HER, GAVE ME THE MOST SEVERE CASE OF WRITER'S BLOCK. SO HERE'S A BIT OF COMIC RELIEF. HOPEFULLY I'LL GET WRITER'S UNBLOCK AND START THE STORY.

EL LOCO HOMBRE
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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And then the fight started....

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman Said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and so she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too'
And then the fight started.....

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And then the fight started.....

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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started....

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8 comments:

  1. dat wife is mean...
    hahaha
    but then again he got the last laugh

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  2. 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

    *DEAD*

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  3. this is hilarious...cheered me up. as in that must be one helluva marriage lol. I cant even choose which one cracks me up the most lol. Oh yeah I really want to read about kryptonite....writer's block I rebuke u lol

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  4. ur eyesight is damn near perfect!
    LWKM...
    this is truly hilarious.

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  5. LOL! Crazy! Loved em! Eager to read about Kryptonite..

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  6. LOL... Perhaps a lesson on the criticality of context....

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  7. OI! what are you incinuating with your jokes?! huh?
    I see them complaing mostly about the women.

    LOL..........just kidding.

    My goodness, we are quite a hand full.

    PS: I would really love a Kyrptonite post, but if it's unhealthy for you..........I understand.

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  8. the last one is just hilarious :P

    ReplyDelete

utilizar tu mentes poderosa. Speak from your powerful mind.)